Rehearsal Dinner Etiquette
It is customary to hold a rehearsal dinner on the evening before a wedding. This event can be as formal or casual as you like, but either way, there are still some basic rules of etiquette that should be observed. Here is what you need to know about rehearsal dinner etiquette.
One of the biggest questions about any part of the wedding is who should be paying for it. Traditionally, the rehearsal dinner is planned and paid for by the groom’s family. This was done to help alleviate some of the financial burden from the bride’s father, who traditionally shouldered the entire burden of the other wedding expenses. These days, the groom’s family is more likely to pitch in with some of the other wedding costs, as are the bride and groom themselves. If the parents of the groom is helping to pay for the rest of the wedding, it is not technically necessary for them to cover all of the costs for the pre-wedding dinner, although in most cases, they still will. Of course if the bride and groom are planning and paying for the entire wedding, they can also pick up the tab for the dinner too.
The next question is who should be invited to the dinner. Etiquette used to be that the guest list for the rehearsal dinner was a small one: the bride and groom, their parents and other immediate family like siblings, and the wedding party. The age old question is whether it is necessary to invite the spouses or significant others of the bridal party, and the answer is yes. A dinner party is a social event, after all, and it is never appropriate to invite only one half of a married couple to one.
Of course, you can always feel free to be more inclusive when making up your guest list. These days with so many wedding guests traveling in from far away, it has become commonplace to invite them to join in for the pre-wedding dinner. At the minimum, most couples will ask relatives such as aunts, uncles, and grandparents. For some weddings, inviting all of the out-of-towners to the rehearsal dinner will make it almost as large as the wedding. That is not necessarily a bad thing, though; it can be a great way to let everyone have a chance to get to know each other before the wedding.
Brides also wonder if a rehearsal dinner needs to be formal, or if it should match the formality of the wedding. The answer is no, with one caveat. If you were having a very casual wedding, you would not want to have a rehearsal dinner that is so elegant that it upstages the main event. In most cases, it goes the other way; an informal pre-wedding dinner precedes a more formal wedding. Not only is that absolutely fine, it can be a really good way to keep expenses down if the guest list is large.
Something else that couples wonder is if they should be presenting their bridesmaid jewelry gifts and groomsmen gifts at the rehearsal dinner. The answer to this is no. The only thing that goes on at a rehearsal dinner (other than dinner, that is) is a couple of toasts, often from the parents of the bride and groom. Bridesmaid gifts like jewelry are best presented at a bridesmaids’ luncheon which takes place about two days before the wedding.
Planning a rehearsal dinner need not be a very time consuming or stressful thing. It should really be no more than a nice dinner to give the close family and friends of the bride and groom a chance to do a “meet and greet”. Now that you know the etiquette, the rest should be easy.
Look to Bridget for advice on planning your wedding. Check out how we can help with your bridesmaids jewelry at SilverlandJewelry.com. The perfect way to thank your attendants for all of their help is with beautiful bridesmaid jewelry gifts.
